Monday, September 10, 2012

It may be selfish, but... Prayer 3: for me.

I am going to make a prayer for myself.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I know you are with me.  And that is the only reason that I can put on a smile in the morning.
I have been struggling tremendously lately.  With everything.
With the loss of Sissy (sheltie of 14 years), with the frustration of trying to train Lacy, with the desire to just break down and cry.
When I think I have this depression under control, that's when it starts to hurt the most.
Sometimes, I just want to give up.  I just want to be in Heaven with you.
But then I remember that I have so much to do in your name.  There is so much good to come in my life.
And only then am I able to stop focusing on the pain, the sorrow, and the longing.  Only then can I praise you and remember that you are always with me and everything will get better.
I just miss Sissy so much.  The day that I decided to lay next to her all night once I got home from school was, of course, the day that she passed away while I was at school.  Lord, that is just so hard to deal with.
But I know that there is strength in your name.  So please, take away this pain.
It's been months, and yet still, every time I see a sheltie, I cry.
I cried at the dog party, I cry when I see commercials, I cry when I'm going to sleep.  I just keep crying.
I don't want to cry anymore.  I want to be happy, and you, my Lord, are the only one who can make that happen.
I love you, Lord.
In His name we pray, Amen.

The sad thing is that, after writing this, I was crying, and Lacy licked away my tears.

Psalm 34:3 "Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together."


  1. so sorry you are struggling with this depression and sadness, girl. praying for you right now - for God's peace and grace to comfort you. love!

    1. Thank you so much; I really appreciate it. <3
      I'm doing so much better now that I have prayed about it; I feel way more peace of mind. :)


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